Going through a breakup can be really hard, especially if it’s after a long and serious relationship. But, whether we like it or not, breakups happen and it’s our duty to get over them and move on because we can’t change the past, but we can change the future. I have been through one or two hard breakups and can give you some advice that actually help rather than just make things worse.
Let me tell you how I look when I break up with someone I really liked – I stop eating and sleeping and start crying. I don’t go out or talk with anyone and after several days I either get sick or just become pale and skinny as if I wan recovering from a strange disease. And that’s something you shouldn’t do! After a break up you will need vitamins and sleep more than ever! First, if you get enough sleep and food you will be able to think clearly and you won’t allow yourself to fall into depression and spend your days crying in bed with a bowl of ice cream. If you want to take your mind off the situation I recommend going to the gym or doing any kind of physical exercise (preferably outdoors) – this way you won’t have time to think about what happened.
When dealing with breakup you need to surround yourself with happy emotions and people so you don’t get sad and alone. Take your friends and go somewhere fun where you won’t think about him or at least you won’t get sad – go to the zoo or the park and spend some quality time with your besties. Studies show that if you surround yourself with laughter and happiness, your mood will go up instantly and you’ll feep happy, as well. Surrounding yourself with friends will help you deal with something else that we all tend to do – obssesing over what happened. To matter how much you think about it or how much you analyze the situation, nothing will change. What’s done is done and the best way to get over it is to just leave the things as they are. From personal experience I tell you that once you break up and get back together, you will break up againg and it will hurt even more because of all the expectations you had about the relationship. Don’t allow yourself to get hurt especially when you can easily prevent that!
After a long relationship we are left with our feelings, broken heart and…memory triggers. Things like teddy bears, clothes, photos and other kinds of reminders only make us feel worse so the best way to help ourselves is to throw everything away! Get rid of his clothes and other belongings that are in your house and, with the help of friends, clean your whole space from everything that will ever remind you of the relationship. I know you love the stuffed animal that he got you for your birthday, but it’s better for you to throw it away now than to look at it and think about what could have happened if you were together. If you have to return some stuff to him, it’s better to ask a friend to do it so you two don’t have to see each other in person.
And, last but not least, remind yourself of all the turn-offs of that person. It may sound superficial but when nothing else helps, thinking about how badly he snored or how awful his taste in clothes was, will help you get over him and realize that you deserve not only better, but the best! I talk from experience when I say that this won’t make you stop loving him, but definitely help realize how much better your life will be without him (and his snoring!).
When dealing with breakups you have to remember one key thing – breakups are hard, but the world won’t stop moving because of them. Breakups happen and we should get over them and move to the better things that await us!